They're coming....

I had never seen a mud puppy ... until 2 hrs ago...they are ugly as sin, they're like huge giant lizards, with little tufts of gills behind their ears and evil slits for eyes. And they look at you, as you make that incision on their ventral side, as if to say "See you in hell, bitch", which is obviously where all mud puppies end up. And surely calling them puppies is misleading. This is a puppy, even on a bad fur day, they will not resemble those diabolical creatures.
You know, they probably eat babies for breakfast.
I am off to take a nap now, I must be alert when the mud puppies stage their attack.

These are a few of my favourite things......

Lasagna...the kind my mom makes
Goan pork sausages
Schezuan fried rice from Uncle's corner...Give me bastardized chinese food anyday.
The pizzas at Pizzeria near jazz by the bay
Fish n chips at Churchill's
The grilled pepper chicken sandwich at this place in Bandra on Hill road I discovered 3 days before I left for the US.
The stir fried chicken/prawn noodles at Sun, Moon and Potatoes
The golden fried prawns at Picasso's
The sunday brunch at Picasso's
Picasso's
The hyderabadi biryani at Havmore
The zinger supreme
The sizzlers at San sizzlers
The cakes at goodies
The juices at Neelkanth
The grilled fish at Golden fork
The buffet at Sayagji
Prawn Balchao made by everyone I know in Goa
Fried Mackerel with all that goodness (thankyou jamie oliver) inside..the kind my Aunt P makes
Anything cooked by Aunty A.
My Mom's fruit cakes with enough alcohol to make you all happy :-)


Give me even one of these right now and I would die a happy super hero.

Excuse me,I need to go and reheat my frozen Mac n Cheese for dinner now.

Some things are just hard to get rid of...

I washed and scrubbed, sprayed my cherry blossom body spray....it still wont go.
Some dettol maybe, body lotion? no dice.
Powder that would otherwise make me smell like an old lady? nope, still there.
Davidoff Cool water for women...perfume I use only when I'm out on a hot date...nothing, still strong.
I think I'm destined to smell like formaldehyde for the rest of my life.


footnote I've been dissecting dead animals for the lab I TA..

Happy Halloween

There's nothing quite like being chased by a guy with a chain saw to get the night going. I dont get scared easily, I mean I'm a super hero, invincible and all that. I'm a total bad ass, bring out the bad guys, I say. But I admit I wanted my mommy at Fright world.
Its a little disturbing to have some guy covered with blood, follow you and whisper into your ear, "Come here, come here",as you try to make your way through complete darkness.
So you can't blame me if I was apprehensive about spending the night all alone in my apartment, since my roommate only mysteriously turns up when its time to pay the rent and I havent seen her in so long, I'm afraid I wont recognize her when she gets back from wherever she goes.
I decided though, that a good superhero conquers her fears, so I headed to my apartment, did a quick survey of the place to check for any undead. No one under the bed or in the closet ( though a couple of hideous sweaters I had brought in a momentary loss of taste did give me quite a scare).
And yes, so maybe I did sleep with the light on and did indulge in a reassuring 3 hr phone converstaion with Uber Geek, but I pulled through, I survived,I made it through that dark and stormy night.
And so Super Invisible girl lives another day. The world is safe again. Children can sleep soundly at night, little old ladies can cross the street without fear of being run over,kittens and puppies can live in harmony...because Super Invisible girl has conquered her inner demons and is ready to get back to saving the world.....only on weekends of course, 4-7pm :-)

How incredibly uncool

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Phantom Liberator Your Superpower is X-Ray Vision Your Weakness is Handshakes Your Weapon is Your Secret Decoder Club Your Mode of Transportation is Sled

What's your Superhero Name?

A sled?? Super invisible girl does not roam around in a sled...and who is the phantom liberator? and what in the world does a secret decoder club do?
Obviously the people at blogthings dont know me well enough, and here I thought we had a deep connection.
And yes, to all those who are wondering, this is what I do when I've run out of things to blog about.

Why did Jack leave?

Jack entered my life quite recently. and left almost as soon....without his head.
So I did leave him in the parking lot all by himself, in the cold...anyone would've wanted to leave. But to be fair, its not a bad place, its comfortable, Jack likes the cold, for company he had the Nissan altima and the Mustang....perfectly decent friends, and the mustang's quite a looker.
But maybe he wanted more, more than what a 4000 cc engine could give him, maybe he wanted someone to talk to, some one who could say to him, "No, Jack, you'ré not fat" , or "Its perfectly alright to not want to wear any clothes".
We didnt talk much, there wasnt much time...weather.com flashed its hazardous climate warning, the wind was unrelenting, my turtleneck was starting to get itchy...things just werent going our way, so I left. Went home. Didnt even say a proper goodbye.
And in the night, when I returned, he was gone...well, not really, he was there, but his head wasnt. Did he leave and forget about his head? Was he in a terrible hurry? Did someone behead Jack? Who would do that? Jack was harmless, standing there all by himself in the parking lot.
I'd like to think that Jack's torso is in a better place now....I now eagerly await for the next snow forecast, because maybe Jack will return...I cant imagine, it would be very comfortable walking around Buffalo without a head.

Things I learnt today

I suck at playing darts.
I'm not a total embarrassment at pool.
I'm mean.Most of the Evolutionary Bio papers I corrected, I gave the students a big fat zero.
I listen to some really cheesy hindi songs because it makes me feel less homesick, and reminds me of another time.
I am unable to eat by myself anywhere out, I need to have another person/book/laptop accompanying me.
When I say I'll call back, I mostly never do.
I miss Goa.
Shopping makes me feel good.Perhaps with cool clothes I can have more friends.
I live in mortal fear of a lizard falling on me.
I have a strange obsesson to find the perfect baseball cap.
I am getting quite hooked on those long Islands.
When my current advisor talks to me, a lot of the times I wonder what the fuck she's talking about.
This is such a lame post.

AWOL

And I'm back....after my brief sabbatical from blogging, I have returned to contribute more bad writing.
Lots of things have been happening, I have acquired a messy roommate , I have broken the necks of a few mice, I have taught freshmen who look like Justin Timberlake and Britney spears (before she became fugly) ,I have had deep meaningful conversation with a duck, I grew paranoid over the escape of Bucky, I had one too many long islands and realised that I could still stand up straight, but thats all boring stuff....now come the juicy details.
Its been a little more than a month since I landed in Buffalo, and I've already started to roll my R's...ok, not really, I used to do that even before, yup, I'm one of those posers.
Anyway, due to my heavy load of assignments,lectures, lab work etc etc, saving the world has taken a backseat for now. I am free to fight crime only on weekends between 2-5pm.Rest of the time I'm busy doing groceries and other exciting things.
Living on my own has meant cooking on my own, I found out that I suck at that, I also suck at managing my money, remembering to pay bills, remembering not to get locked out of my house, remembering to to do my laundry before I am left with nothing to wear.
I have made no new friends, apparently no one finds me cool and interesting. To compensate for the lack of people around me I have invested in a shiny blue bouncing rubber ball and a jigsaw puzzle which promises to provide endless hours of fun! Who needs them friends anyway.
I spent the better part of my week trying to assemble my new bookcase, apparently I'm quite handy with the tools because I managed to pull it off (after a few aborted attempts) with no outside help...and it hasnt just spontaneously collapsed or anything, which I take to be a good sign, or perhaps I should give it a few more days and then remark on my worksmanship.
Steve Irvin got attacked by a sting ray and died..how sad...this is even sadder ....revenge attacks on fish??? what kind of demented fucks are these?
Its very cold here and promises to get colder...Will super invisible girl survive the brutal winter? Will super invisible girl not get confused everytime the starbucks lady asks her what kind of coffee she wants? Will super invisible girl figure out how to use the dryer???...these and other pressing questions will probably not be answered any time soon, but please do visit again to read my next totally irrelevant post :-)

Blog therapy

I'm not good with new places, it usually takes me ages to meet new people and make friends. The first few years at my school in Dubai were hellish, I grew aloof and withdrew into my own world, I didnt like a single person in my class...and I was just 10. Things got easier over the years, I did eventually make a few good friends, but school was never "fun" for me, it was something that I had to do, because Mom and Dad put me in this sodding place, and well..because kids go to school.
College at Xaviers was a whole new ball game, I loved the freedom,the libraries, the whole place....but I ended up making just two real friends in my 3 years there.While everyone in my batch made lasting friendships, I felt strangely detached from them all.I suppose I always keep my friends at arm's length, never got too close, I didnt like people knowing too much about me.Different friends see different sides of me, I dont think anyone really knows all of me yet. So, yes, I used to be alone a lot but I didnt mind that. I used to tell myself that I'm one of those people who just likes to be alone and then I'd wonder whether it wasnt just because I found myself alone so often, that I had no choice but to like it.
And then I went to Baroda for my Masters, I was never alone here, I had friends from all over...I think things changed because I no longer could go back "home" at the end of the day, I was stuck with these guys. I am very particular about personal space, here I didnt have any. So I dropped my gaurd, and I'm glad I did because I made some wonderful friends, people who I genuinely liked and didnt just tolerate.
So, the reason I'm bringing all this up now is that I'm back where I started, once again in a new place, brand new country and its a little scary...I wonder if things I do now will shape how the rest of my 5 yrs turn out here.Is there something I should be doing, actively going out and looking to meet new people or just do my own thing and let things fall into place. Should I be extra friendly or be my normal distant self? Is there a book which will tell me what to do? cuz I could sure use one ..lol
I do have someone here though, the intrepid Super Slime mold girl ( she'll probably kill me for this, but I cant help myself...besides, all the cool names have been taken already) She's making sure I know which brand of bread to get, which streets to avoid at night, about the giant mutant squirrels here, how krispy kreme donuts are heaven sent and how to get that wierd smell out of my apartment...now this is a true friend ladies and gentlemen!

The Journey

I want to document my entire journey from Mumbai to Buffalo, New york in precise detail so everyone who reads this, knows exactly what not to do when moving to a different country for the next 4-5 years of your life
but first a few words of advice.
1. finish packing atleast 2-3 days before you leave and NOT 5 minutes before you leave for the airport.
2. Dont travel immediately after an attempted terrorist attack, those security checks can be a real bitch and everybody is paranoid that your harmless yellow folder will double up as an AK 47 or something.
3. Actually dont travel on a 22 hr journey at all...just stay at home, its so much easier.

ok, now on to the juicy details
1. I over packed, I had 3 large suitcases, but really what do you not carry when you are shifting your whole life to another country for the next 5 years. Everything seemed like it would come in handy some day, surely I would need that pretty blue completely impractical strappy top, perhaps I will have cool friends and they'll invite me to fancy parties, where people dress like strippers.
2.Mumbai airport was hell, the lines for security checks were never ending, and they just randomly picked me from the crowd and asked me to open one of my suitcases up , and then the guy half heartedly glances at its contents and lets me go...I mean, if I was really hiding explosives, he would never have found them out like that.
3.after my bags went through the x ray machine, I couldnt stack them all on top of the other, I have absolutely no upper body strength..I have actually no strength at all. Anyway, all this meant that i had to use 2 trolleys which is hard to do and much drama ensued.
4.the only good thing to happen to me on this journey was that I didnt have to pay for any of my excess baggage, they let it go...I think the whole dragging 2 trolleys and general look of frustration earned me the sympathy vote.
5.On the british midlands flight from Mumbai to London, I sat next to this old Gujarati lady for 10 straight hours. She spoke not a word of english or hindi and i made the mistake of saying a few words in my broken gujrati, and from then onwards i was her new best friend. She went on and on and I didnt understand a thing. I was the official translater for her, because the very british air hostesess didnt know what she was saying...then again neither did I, so I just made up stuff.
6. Because of all the delays, we reached Heathrow pretty late, with only an hour and half until my connecting flight to Washington. Which is not enough when they insist on almost strip searching everyone arriving at the airport.
They also confiscated a book gifted to me by the very cool Ubergeek, broke my heart to see it tossed into the trash.
7. I did make it to my United flight after running frantically through all of heathrow.I didnt even get to check out the snooty duty free shops.
8. My 7 hour flight to washington dulles airport was again long and tiring. And this time i had the misfortune of sitting next to 2 bratty 10 yr old british boys...see why cant I get the hot blonde guy sitting five rows behind me?
9. by the time we landed at Dulles, we were late again and well i got lost...again had a problem loading my luggage on to the trolley, but was helped by a nice Indian boy who had to catch his plane in the next 30 mins, but still stopped to help.
Anyway, i think i spent half an hour wandering the whole airport and asking random people where the bleeding United Airlines counters were. Finally found it, checked in my bags. This was the last time i saw my bags that day.
10. The plane ride from washington to buffalo was actually quite cool, and I probably would have enjoyed it more if i hadnt been almost dehydrated with my distraught running at Dulles airport. It was this small 50 seater plane which flew pretty low and this was actually the first time i was taking a good look at the place, instead of just trying to get from one terminal to the other all the time.
11. We reached Buffalo, half an hour early, this was great, what was not great was that none of my bags arrived with me.they were gone, vanished...strangely I did not panic, i was calm, the kind of calm that comes over you after you realise that things have gone so horribly long, you really dont give a rats ass anymore if they get worse.
12. these 2 Indian grad students came to pick me up at the airport and they helped me out with the baggage claim n all that jazz and then proceeded to drop me off at my friend's place where I slept until the reality of losing all my luggage hit me and then i woke up and proceeded to frantically call the helpline. I mean i didnt have a tooth brush, no clean underwear...nothing, just my passport, visa and a pen...fat lot of good that would do me.
I did eventually get my luggage back, and all is well now.
In my next post, I will give my detailed critique of buffalo, the university and the crazy people here...u know you cant wait

Word to all..

I'm removing word verification, its such a pain in ass, I actually got it wrong twice while replying to a comment. Those spammers dont scare me, bring it on..personally, I like hearing about how I can get 5 degrees online in 6 months or how I should visit xxx.com to meet hot asian babes.
I hope this encourages my readers to leave more comments, you will no longer be required to perform complex mental tasks before leaving a comment, I've made things so much easier for u guys...be nice now.

Analyze this

I have a problem, I overthink things. I scan for subtext when there isnt any or is there?...fuck, I'm already confused.
I have another problem, I'm suffering from blogger ennui, I'm hoping this is temporary, and I'll start being brilliant again sometime soon.
So, I substitute meaningful posts for these quickies instead.But nobody reads my blog anyway and it shouldn't matter because I blog for myself right?...who am I kidding, I actually blog because I want people to tell me how wonderful I am, how my writing provides deep insight, how my erudite opinion on crap is actually entertaining...because I need external validation..because I'm insecure and cannot gauge my own abilities and need others to do it for me.
I am pretty screwed up but mostly do a good job of behaving normal.
And that ends one of my rare posts on psychobabble rubbish, I promise not to do this again :-)

What not to do when drunk

1.Wierd threesome dance with boy and girl u barely know

2. dance on top of a table...thankfully i did not do this, though was sorely tempted while looking at other drunks who were on top of tables. My shoes...that was what held me back...note to self..wear more practical shoes next...or perhaps not, it keeps me from doing wierd aerial stunts when drunk

3. Drop vodka over one's self...must learn to hold a drink and perform complex hip hop move at the same time....practise practise practise

My lame druggie confessions

My Aunt once thought I was using cocaine, because she found a small packet full of loose white powder lying on my desk. Never mind that it could have been sugar or talc or that I had no history of drug use, but her first thought was that it must be cocaine.Then she thought that it probably belonged to my brother, him being prone to trouble n all...or better still perhaps we were snorting cocaine together, not wanting the other sibling to feel left out or anything. So anyway, she wanted to be sure, so like they do in the movies, she thought perhaps she should taste it. But because my aunt is sheltered and not like the rest of the cokehead family, she didnt want to risk it and get instantly addicted or anything, so she takes a sample of it to show another aunt, who presumably has more experience with narcotics.
Later,I did manage to convince said aunt, that it wasnt cocaine and she was being absurd and we all had a good laugh about it, though I still see her sneaking nervous glances at me and secretly checking my arms for for needle pricks....the things I have to live with.
So what was that white powder anyway? Carboxy methyl cellulose, a stabiliser used in making ice creams, I had gotten it at an ice cream making class a friend had forced me to go to....I was so bored during that class, but it was totally worth it for my coke adventure....see, this is how u know I'm totally starved for excitement.

The girl formerly known as...

I have a different name on my passport, a different name on my visa,a different name on my I20,a different name on my ticket and no, I'm not affiliated with any international spy agency...its a simple name,why can't anyone get it right? As it stands now, I will be getting my degree in my Dad's name and not mine....correcting all this will involve too much paper work and time ,so instead I choose to do nothing and hope that nobody notices...no really, thats my strategy, its brilliant I know.

Its just me rambling again

I know I havent been posting regularly, but I've been reealllly busy or atleast under the illusion that I'm busy. You know how it is, when you have so much to do, and so little time and its all so overwhelming that you finally end up doing nothing, but just staring at the ceiling...no? ya me neither...
anyway, this is what Ive been upto, I apologise for the sub standard stuff, I'm too sleepy to worry about grammar tonight.

I went hiking again, I know I should stop doing this, people might actually think I'm one of those outdoorsy people. Location- kanheri caves...the hike was fun, because I had good company, but its not very strenous and I recommend it to the trekkie newbie. Also if you like huge smelly caves, this is the place for you. There are I think around 109 caves there...ok, so I got fed up after the 4th cave...but you know what they say, u've seen one cave ,u've seen them all.
We also went on a tiger safari, I'd advise people to take a good pair of binoculors and a healthy dose of imagination if you actually want to see one.
Also, our guide nandeshwar wanted to show us the boy from his village who got attacked by leopards on 3 separate occasions. Yes, I encountered the poster boy for leopard attacks but resisted the urge to get a picture...how morbid, I know.

I'm in Dubai!! Reached yesterday, will be here for around 3 weeks. The sheikhs have an obscene amount of money, the way they just blow it away on the extravagant constructions and ridiculous malls.I like this city, and have spent more than 8 yrs of my life here, but it doesnt feel like home anymore.I think I like living in Mumbai, however frustrating it gets.

My parents want to make me fat, so that I can be socially ostracized by a society that idolises stick women....yipee!

I am horrified by the terrorists attacks in Mumbai, this is my home, it feels aweful for something like this to happen. I mean, imagine you're coming back from work, how horrible that you could be blown up to pieces for absolutely no fault of yours. I am very angry, because I feel nothing will change, its frustrating to think that life in India is not valued.Its like we've gotten used to seeing so much death and suffering that we just get up and get back to work the next day like nothing happened.Death like this shouldnt be something that we need to get used to.

ok, I'm done. I dont know, I havent felt the urge to blog at all the past one week. I think I write best when I'm depressed, all that angst needs an outlet...hehe
but good news, I think depression is setting in, I miss super lupe too much, so I guess I should be coming out with some quality stuff pretty soon....I just hope nothing happens in between to make me happy.

Hiking we will go...

I went Hiking a few days ago to this place called Peth fort. I like to go trekking, but dont go as much, because I'm a lazy ass, but this time, I managed to convince Super Unconcious girl and Music Boy to come along with me. Actually Music boy didnt need much convincing. He's the only person I know, who's game to go anywhere,anytime. I could learn a thing or two from him because I'm afraid I can be a bit of a tight ass. I think for ages before doing anything, I weigh the pros and cons, I would make lists, tables, charts and figures analysing the whole thing if I wasnt such a slacker. But I digress....
So, anyway, we paid up and asembled at Punjabi chandu halwai at dadar tt at 6 30 am (its a miracle either of us made it in time, super unconcious girl like me has trouble with early mornings and Music boy was working until 4:00 am that day). Our Guide for the day was Neville, who looked like he still hadnt got passed puberty.We were assured he was an accomplished trekker and none of us were in any danger of falling down a cliff or anything.There were about 18 of us altogether, which included this old couple in their 50's, who tried to recruit all of us to run the stan chart marathon next year, I of course stayed away from them, didnt want to catch their enthusiasm. There was this big group of gujratis, the yuppie kind. they acted exactly the way I behave when I'm drunk, obnoxious and loud but kind of funny.
So anyway,it took us around 2 and a half hours to get there. The damn Bus was really uncomfortable, its like the India Outdoors people hired the cheapest fucking bus possible, there was no leg room whatsoever.
We trekked about 15 km that day, though Neville lied to us at the beginnning and said it was just around 6 km, I guess he didnt want any of us chickening out before we'd even begun.
The hike uphill was long,painful and made even harder because it was so friggin hot. Not a drop of rain.. Ofcourse, quite predictably we all enjoyed being ugly tourists and asking our guides, when it would rain, every 5 mins.
I remember being stuck in a particularly precarious position, I couldnt get a good grip and didnt know where to put my foot. I was a little ahead of the others, so no one else was around. This guy somewhat ahead of me, looks at me and yells quite uselessly,"Its all in the mind"....bastard, wtf..I hate it when people mouth such meaningless shit. Something like "You can put your foot here" would have been more helpful. Anyway, I finally find my balance and get out of there and resolve not to try and show off and stick with the group.
At the base of the peak, which supposedly resembles an upturned funnel, (but I totally did not get that...not by any stretch of imagination) we camped for an hour or so at this village. It was strange actually, we walked right through people's houses but they didnt seem to mind.
We then proceeded to trek uphill towards the peak and it was pouring by then. We reached the top, where there was this huge cave and some enterprising young boys were selling cutting chai.
Anyway, I had such a cool time, especially being there with two of my best friends and the place was so pretty,I look at the pictures now and think I should have looked around somemore and not been so worried about getting my pants dirty.
The pictures are up on flickr, so go see and admire

Another one bites the dust

This is pretty sad. I used to like Eddie, he was my favourite TV dog. I wanted a Jack russel terrier after seeing the show, but instead went for a huge ass scary looking dog. But I guess he had a good life...16 yrs...I am wondering what happens to all the stray dogs during the rains, the albino dog and his bitch dont follow lupe and me when we go for our walks now.I used to hate it, because I'd end up with 3 dogs jumping all over me, but now I miss it. In fact I havent seen them in a few days. Though I suspect, alby will turn up once the rains quiet down with another bitch...heh...he's one randy dog.If he were a guy, he would be such a male slut. And I cant see that puppy anymore either , the one who used to hump my leg with a vengeance, and follow me like a love sick umm..puppy.
I hope he's okay, nothing makes me sadder than helpless animals. Donkeys for some reason make me sad, especially when I see them lugging around the world's weight on their backs. they get such a bad rap, those donkeys.I mean they're considered to be stupid and made to do all that work. A few years back, I was really worried by this, I had seen too many mistreated donkeys, so I wrote this petition, this "Save the donkeys" email..it was sort of a signing campaign by email, everyone should add their name and pass it along...I mean, if people could pass along those silly forwards in hope of finding true love then surely they could do this to spread awareness. I was met with an unenthusiastic response. But I sort of secretly hope that when I'm checking my mail at 80, that email will come back to me, with like a million names and I would be credited for the liberation of donkeys everywhere.... I know, I know, I have way too much time on my hands..and you havent even heard about Phase 2 of my Donkey liberation plan yet.

From one Super hero to another

Disclaimer: I have not seen the movie I'm about to discuss (because I have a brain and if u had one, u wouldnt see it too),so technically I have absolutely no right to say its crap, but I'm going to , so if u have a problem with it then please step away from my blog.

I had the horrible misfortune of seeing the first movie (which gave me a brain hemorrhage), so I'm bitter and therefore justified in spewing venom at the sequel Krrish.
Ok first, a true superhero does not dance like that. True, a few of us might break into a jig spontaneously after doing something superheroic BUT not with 100 back up dancers appearing bizarrely out of nowhere and there would be NO synchronized dancing, that is absolutely not cool.
Second, no cheesy matrix style moves dude. Did Hrithik Roshan not get the memo about that? You can only do those slow motion flying in the air and drop kicking thing so many times before it becomes stupid.We dont want hollywood hand me downs, come up with something original. I mean I have cooler moves than that. Seriously, somebody should pay me for the free advice I'm giving out, I'd make a movie if I wasnt busy saving the world and trying to earn a PhD.
Third, what kind of a fucking costume is that? when in doubt, stick to spandex.Pajamas with an oversized raincoat is great if its ur grandma.
Not since Ang Lee's Hulk have I been so incensed with such mediocre representation of superheroes in the Media. Oh please let Superman not be crap , I couldnt stand more disappointment.

Uncle Sam wants me!!

The night before my Visa interview I did not sleep. I had terrible nightmares about getting up late and missing it...even though the interview was at 2 30pm.
This is unusual for me, normally, I'm the Queen of cool, nothing upsets my state of Zen.
So, I get up at 6 30 am and proceed to go through all the possibilities on how the day would end, none of them were good....did I mention the glass is always half empty for me?
I had shopped for appropriate clothing, I wanted something which said "I'm proud to be Indian and love India and even though I'm fleeing the country and can't wait to go to Amreeka and see disneyland, I have every intention of coming back to my country and opening hospitals and schools and providing clean drinking water and better toilet facilities"....turns out thats too much to ask for out of a piece of clothing, so I settled for a stupid green tee shirt over my jeans...
So, anyway on the day of my interview, I notice that my tee has a deceptively low neckline and is showing inappropriate amount of cleavage when I bend even slightly, I didnt notice this before. This is not good, I need to project an image of seriousness, I'm a studious girl going to do my Phd, flashing the Visa officer might not be a good idea. I make a mental note not to bend or make any sudden movements the whole day.
Catch a 12 35 train, reach Mahalaxmi at 1 15 pm, cab drivers look at me contemptously and openly sneer at me and pretend to not know what a US embassy is. finally, find a cabbie willing, but end up at the wrong place, its already 2 15 pm. A security gaurd nearby is nice enough to give me directions, I reach lincoln house at 2 25, am almost run over by a bus while crossing the road. the bus driver swears at me, I call him a fucking bastard right back , but I dont think he hears me, instead I'm enveloped by the exhaust fumes of the Bus.
After the frisking and fingerprinting (just like jail, except for the blonde women), I take my pink coupon and wait with the rest of them hopefuls. There's this TV screen, showing images of the Statue of liberty, Niagara falls and some other pretty places I dont recognize. I decide to not look at the big screen anymore, am weary of subliminal messages on govt propaganda that might be coming through.
Notice cute skinny boy has pulled up a chair next to me. Avoid looking at him, and stare at the ceiling .He asks me how long I've been waiting, I say 15 mins...then continue staring at the ceiling, dont really like talking to strangers and making painful small talk. But he persists, and pretty soon we're deciding on which VO (Visa Officer) looks the meanest and which one is handing those visas out like its nobody's business. We decide the lady with the big blonde hair looks most evil. Her hair is scary, like it could eat you up when you're in the cubicle with her.
He apparently is going to new york too, for an MS in Architecture. We discuss new york weather and conclude the only thing we know is that it gets shit cold. Then he gets called for his interview, I wish him luck but am annoyed that he gets called first even though I came in before him. But, not for long because my turn comes soon after, and I meet the VO, who's this pretty blonde woman ( not the one with the nasty hair).
This is how it goes

VO: what r u going to be studying?
Me: I tell her (I think she started to get bored, even I was bored of the bull shit I was going on about, she ignores me midway and starts to speak with another one of the 100 million blonde women there)
VO: (staring hard at her computer screen) So, ur going for a PhD?
Me: Yes, I am.
VO: what will u do after ur phd?
Me: more BS( she's again losing interest...I try and spice things up by throwing in something about saving the world one test tube at a time or something...no laughter...tough crowd)
VO: (Now staring at her screen and pressing keys furiously)
Me: (Wondering if she's doing something with my application, or as i suspect more accurately, playing Counterstike secretly with her fellow VOs)
finally...VO: your visa has been granted, your passport will be couriered to u within 2 days
Me: THANKYOU (I say this with a big ridiculous grin on my face and wonder for a moment whether it would be appropriate for me to hug the glass that separates us... then decide against it, dont want to come on too strong)

On my way out, exchange High fives with cute skinny boy and notice he's still in line for his interview.
Exit the Visa Centre and take pains to cross road carefully as dont want to be run over by oncoming traffic, would like to visit disneyland before I die.