Its Christmas!!

Merry christmas and Happy new year everyone...I'm on the road so the blogging has temporarily stalled...but I'll be back with exciting stories about those damn presbyterians, naked women at the YMCA, the strange toilets at Chicago O hare airport, how I almost missed my American airlines flight and almost got on the United airlines flight, how one should always carry bathroom slippers if you plan on staying in a hostel, and how I rule at Monopoly...

Blogging along

Its Finals week here...so there are a lot of umm..finals. I have two coming up in the next few days and assignments to submit, papers to grade etc. Finals week also coincides with the Superhero Annual Congress, where all Superheroes convene to discuss matters of grave importance, such as who shrunk Pluto, how to get our own Actions figures, why Spiderman gets all the endorsements, removing blood stains from spandex etc. So its a busy, busy time and my Blog suffers.

In other news, I can't locate the Anteroventral cochlear nuclei, I manage to slice everything around BUT the AVCN. I faithfully tread to the lab everyday in great hope, but the AVCN still eludes me.I can see it, its thats tiny greyish blob below the paraflocculus but soon as I try to slice the damn thing, its disappears ..its like its mocking me.Speaking to it in soothing tones doesnt seem to help much either. Tomorrow, I shall try using the element of surprise, jump at it from behind....To all my non-biologist readers, this is all part of the cutting edge research I do everyday.

In other, other news, this will be my first Christmas without Family in this strange land. Hopefully I will not get depressed and denounce Santa claus to little kids.

And finally, Super Lupe is the best side kick ever....I just felt like saying that.

They're coming....

I had never seen a mud puppy ... until 2 hrs ago...they are ugly as sin, they're like huge giant lizards, with little tufts of gills behind their ears and evil slits for eyes. And they look at you, as you make that incision on their ventral side, as if to say "See you in hell, bitch", which is obviously where all mud puppies end up. And surely calling them puppies is misleading. This is a puppy, even on a bad fur day, they will not resemble those diabolical creatures.
You know, they probably eat babies for breakfast.
I am off to take a nap now, I must be alert when the mud puppies stage their attack.

These are a few of my favourite things......

Lasagna...the kind my mom makes
Goan pork sausages
Schezuan fried rice from Uncle's corner...Give me bastardized chinese food anyday.
The pizzas at Pizzeria near jazz by the bay
Fish n chips at Churchill's
The grilled pepper chicken sandwich at this place in Bandra on Hill road I discovered 3 days before I left for the US.
The stir fried chicken/prawn noodles at Sun, Moon and Potatoes
The golden fried prawns at Picasso's
The sunday brunch at Picasso's
Picasso's
The hyderabadi biryani at Havmore
The zinger supreme
The sizzlers at San sizzlers
The cakes at goodies
The juices at Neelkanth
The grilled fish at Golden fork
The buffet at Sayagji
Prawn Balchao made by everyone I know in Goa
Fried Mackerel with all that goodness (thankyou jamie oliver) inside..the kind my Aunt P makes
Anything cooked by Aunty A.
My Mom's fruit cakes with enough alcohol to make you all happy :-)


Give me even one of these right now and I would die a happy super hero.

Excuse me,I need to go and reheat my frozen Mac n Cheese for dinner now.

Some things are just hard to get rid of...

I washed and scrubbed, sprayed my cherry blossom body spray....it still wont go.
Some dettol maybe, body lotion? no dice.
Powder that would otherwise make me smell like an old lady? nope, still there.
Davidoff Cool water for women...perfume I use only when I'm out on a hot date...nothing, still strong.
I think I'm destined to smell like formaldehyde for the rest of my life.


footnote I've been dissecting dead animals for the lab I TA..

Happy Halloween

There's nothing quite like being chased by a guy with a chain saw to get the night going. I dont get scared easily, I mean I'm a super hero, invincible and all that. I'm a total bad ass, bring out the bad guys, I say. But I admit I wanted my mommy at Fright world.
Its a little disturbing to have some guy covered with blood, follow you and whisper into your ear, "Come here, come here",as you try to make your way through complete darkness.
So you can't blame me if I was apprehensive about spending the night all alone in my apartment, since my roommate only mysteriously turns up when its time to pay the rent and I havent seen her in so long, I'm afraid I wont recognize her when she gets back from wherever she goes.
I decided though, that a good superhero conquers her fears, so I headed to my apartment, did a quick survey of the place to check for any undead. No one under the bed or in the closet ( though a couple of hideous sweaters I had brought in a momentary loss of taste did give me quite a scare).
And yes, so maybe I did sleep with the light on and did indulge in a reassuring 3 hr phone converstaion with Uber Geek, but I pulled through, I survived,I made it through that dark and stormy night.
And so Super Invisible girl lives another day. The world is safe again. Children can sleep soundly at night, little old ladies can cross the street without fear of being run over,kittens and puppies can live in harmony...because Super Invisible girl has conquered her inner demons and is ready to get back to saving the world.....only on weekends of course, 4-7pm :-)

How incredibly uncool

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Phantom Liberator Your Superpower is X-Ray Vision Your Weakness is Handshakes Your Weapon is Your Secret Decoder Club Your Mode of Transportation is Sled

What's your Superhero Name?

A sled?? Super invisible girl does not roam around in a sled...and who is the phantom liberator? and what in the world does a secret decoder club do?
Obviously the people at blogthings dont know me well enough, and here I thought we had a deep connection.
And yes, to all those who are wondering, this is what I do when I've run out of things to blog about.

Why did Jack leave?

Jack entered my life quite recently. and left almost as soon....without his head.
So I did leave him in the parking lot all by himself, in the cold...anyone would've wanted to leave. But to be fair, its not a bad place, its comfortable, Jack likes the cold, for company he had the Nissan altima and the Mustang....perfectly decent friends, and the mustang's quite a looker.
But maybe he wanted more, more than what a 4000 cc engine could give him, maybe he wanted someone to talk to, some one who could say to him, "No, Jack, you'ré not fat" , or "Its perfectly alright to not want to wear any clothes".
We didnt talk much, there wasnt much time...weather.com flashed its hazardous climate warning, the wind was unrelenting, my turtleneck was starting to get itchy...things just werent going our way, so I left. Went home. Didnt even say a proper goodbye.
And in the night, when I returned, he was gone...well, not really, he was there, but his head wasnt. Did he leave and forget about his head? Was he in a terrible hurry? Did someone behead Jack? Who would do that? Jack was harmless, standing there all by himself in the parking lot.
I'd like to think that Jack's torso is in a better place now....I now eagerly await for the next snow forecast, because maybe Jack will return...I cant imagine, it would be very comfortable walking around Buffalo without a head.

Things I learnt today

I suck at playing darts.
I'm not a total embarrassment at pool.
I'm mean.Most of the Evolutionary Bio papers I corrected, I gave the students a big fat zero.
I listen to some really cheesy hindi songs because it makes me feel less homesick, and reminds me of another time.
I am unable to eat by myself anywhere out, I need to have another person/book/laptop accompanying me.
When I say I'll call back, I mostly never do.
I miss Goa.
Shopping makes me feel good.Perhaps with cool clothes I can have more friends.
I live in mortal fear of a lizard falling on me.
I have a strange obsesson to find the perfect baseball cap.
I am getting quite hooked on those long Islands.
When my current advisor talks to me, a lot of the times I wonder what the fuck she's talking about.
This is such a lame post.

AWOL

And I'm back....after my brief sabbatical from blogging, I have returned to contribute more bad writing.
Lots of things have been happening, I have acquired a messy roommate , I have broken the necks of a few mice, I have taught freshmen who look like Justin Timberlake and Britney spears (before she became fugly) ,I have had deep meaningful conversation with a duck, I grew paranoid over the escape of Bucky, I had one too many long islands and realised that I could still stand up straight, but thats all boring stuff....now come the juicy details.
Its been a little more than a month since I landed in Buffalo, and I've already started to roll my R's...ok, not really, I used to do that even before, yup, I'm one of those posers.
Anyway, due to my heavy load of assignments,lectures, lab work etc etc, saving the world has taken a backseat for now. I am free to fight crime only on weekends between 2-5pm.Rest of the time I'm busy doing groceries and other exciting things.
Living on my own has meant cooking on my own, I found out that I suck at that, I also suck at managing my money, remembering to pay bills, remembering not to get locked out of my house, remembering to to do my laundry before I am left with nothing to wear.
I have made no new friends, apparently no one finds me cool and interesting. To compensate for the lack of people around me I have invested in a shiny blue bouncing rubber ball and a jigsaw puzzle which promises to provide endless hours of fun! Who needs them friends anyway.
I spent the better part of my week trying to assemble my new bookcase, apparently I'm quite handy with the tools because I managed to pull it off (after a few aborted attempts) with no outside help...and it hasnt just spontaneously collapsed or anything, which I take to be a good sign, or perhaps I should give it a few more days and then remark on my worksmanship.
Steve Irvin got attacked by a sting ray and died..how sad...this is even sadder ....revenge attacks on fish??? what kind of demented fucks are these?
Its very cold here and promises to get colder...Will super invisible girl survive the brutal winter? Will super invisible girl not get confused everytime the starbucks lady asks her what kind of coffee she wants? Will super invisible girl figure out how to use the dryer???...these and other pressing questions will probably not be answered any time soon, but please do visit again to read my next totally irrelevant post :-)

Blog therapy

I'm not good with new places, it usually takes me ages to meet new people and make friends. The first few years at my school in Dubai were hellish, I grew aloof and withdrew into my own world, I didnt like a single person in my class...and I was just 10. Things got easier over the years, I did eventually make a few good friends, but school was never "fun" for me, it was something that I had to do, because Mom and Dad put me in this sodding place, and well..because kids go to school.
College at Xaviers was a whole new ball game, I loved the freedom,the libraries, the whole place....but I ended up making just two real friends in my 3 years there.While everyone in my batch made lasting friendships, I felt strangely detached from them all.I suppose I always keep my friends at arm's length, never got too close, I didnt like people knowing too much about me.Different friends see different sides of me, I dont think anyone really knows all of me yet. So, yes, I used to be alone a lot but I didnt mind that. I used to tell myself that I'm one of those people who just likes to be alone and then I'd wonder whether it wasnt just because I found myself alone so often, that I had no choice but to like it.
And then I went to Baroda for my Masters, I was never alone here, I had friends from all over...I think things changed because I no longer could go back "home" at the end of the day, I was stuck with these guys. I am very particular about personal space, here I didnt have any. So I dropped my gaurd, and I'm glad I did because I made some wonderful friends, people who I genuinely liked and didnt just tolerate.
So, the reason I'm bringing all this up now is that I'm back where I started, once again in a new place, brand new country and its a little scary...I wonder if things I do now will shape how the rest of my 5 yrs turn out here.Is there something I should be doing, actively going out and looking to meet new people or just do my own thing and let things fall into place. Should I be extra friendly or be my normal distant self? Is there a book which will tell me what to do? cuz I could sure use one ..lol
I do have someone here though, the intrepid Super Slime mold girl ( she'll probably kill me for this, but I cant help myself...besides, all the cool names have been taken already) She's making sure I know which brand of bread to get, which streets to avoid at night, about the giant mutant squirrels here, how krispy kreme donuts are heaven sent and how to get that wierd smell out of my apartment...now this is a true friend ladies and gentlemen!

The Journey

I want to document my entire journey from Mumbai to Buffalo, New york in precise detail so everyone who reads this, knows exactly what not to do when moving to a different country for the next 4-5 years of your life
but first a few words of advice.
1. finish packing atleast 2-3 days before you leave and NOT 5 minutes before you leave for the airport.
2. Dont travel immediately after an attempted terrorist attack, those security checks can be a real bitch and everybody is paranoid that your harmless yellow folder will double up as an AK 47 or something.
3. Actually dont travel on a 22 hr journey at all...just stay at home, its so much easier.

ok, now on to the juicy details
1. I over packed, I had 3 large suitcases, but really what do you not carry when you are shifting your whole life to another country for the next 5 years. Everything seemed like it would come in handy some day, surely I would need that pretty blue completely impractical strappy top, perhaps I will have cool friends and they'll invite me to fancy parties, where people dress like strippers.
2.Mumbai airport was hell, the lines for security checks were never ending, and they just randomly picked me from the crowd and asked me to open one of my suitcases up , and then the guy half heartedly glances at its contents and lets me go...I mean, if I was really hiding explosives, he would never have found them out like that.
3.after my bags went through the x ray machine, I couldnt stack them all on top of the other, I have absolutely no upper body strength..I have actually no strength at all. Anyway, all this meant that i had to use 2 trolleys which is hard to do and much drama ensued.
4.the only good thing to happen to me on this journey was that I didnt have to pay for any of my excess baggage, they let it go...I think the whole dragging 2 trolleys and general look of frustration earned me the sympathy vote.
5.On the british midlands flight from Mumbai to London, I sat next to this old Gujarati lady for 10 straight hours. She spoke not a word of english or hindi and i made the mistake of saying a few words in my broken gujrati, and from then onwards i was her new best friend. She went on and on and I didnt understand a thing. I was the official translater for her, because the very british air hostesess didnt know what she was saying...then again neither did I, so I just made up stuff.
6. Because of all the delays, we reached Heathrow pretty late, with only an hour and half until my connecting flight to Washington. Which is not enough when they insist on almost strip searching everyone arriving at the airport.
They also confiscated a book gifted to me by the very cool Ubergeek, broke my heart to see it tossed into the trash.
7. I did make it to my United flight after running frantically through all of heathrow.I didnt even get to check out the snooty duty free shops.
8. My 7 hour flight to washington dulles airport was again long and tiring. And this time i had the misfortune of sitting next to 2 bratty 10 yr old british boys...see why cant I get the hot blonde guy sitting five rows behind me?
9. by the time we landed at Dulles, we were late again and well i got lost...again had a problem loading my luggage on to the trolley, but was helped by a nice Indian boy who had to catch his plane in the next 30 mins, but still stopped to help.
Anyway, i think i spent half an hour wandering the whole airport and asking random people where the bleeding United Airlines counters were. Finally found it, checked in my bags. This was the last time i saw my bags that day.
10. The plane ride from washington to buffalo was actually quite cool, and I probably would have enjoyed it more if i hadnt been almost dehydrated with my distraught running at Dulles airport. It was this small 50 seater plane which flew pretty low and this was actually the first time i was taking a good look at the place, instead of just trying to get from one terminal to the other all the time.
11. We reached Buffalo, half an hour early, this was great, what was not great was that none of my bags arrived with me.they were gone, vanished...strangely I did not panic, i was calm, the kind of calm that comes over you after you realise that things have gone so horribly long, you really dont give a rats ass anymore if they get worse.
12. these 2 Indian grad students came to pick me up at the airport and they helped me out with the baggage claim n all that jazz and then proceeded to drop me off at my friend's place where I slept until the reality of losing all my luggage hit me and then i woke up and proceeded to frantically call the helpline. I mean i didnt have a tooth brush, no clean underwear...nothing, just my passport, visa and a pen...fat lot of good that would do me.
I did eventually get my luggage back, and all is well now.
In my next post, I will give my detailed critique of buffalo, the university and the crazy people here...u know you cant wait

Word to all..

I'm removing word verification, its such a pain in ass, I actually got it wrong twice while replying to a comment. Those spammers dont scare me, bring it on..personally, I like hearing about how I can get 5 degrees online in 6 months or how I should visit xxx.com to meet hot asian babes.
I hope this encourages my readers to leave more comments, you will no longer be required to perform complex mental tasks before leaving a comment, I've made things so much easier for u guys...be nice now.

Analyze this

I have a problem, I overthink things. I scan for subtext when there isnt any or is there?...fuck, I'm already confused.
I have another problem, I'm suffering from blogger ennui, I'm hoping this is temporary, and I'll start being brilliant again sometime soon.
So, I substitute meaningful posts for these quickies instead.But nobody reads my blog anyway and it shouldn't matter because I blog for myself right?...who am I kidding, I actually blog because I want people to tell me how wonderful I am, how my writing provides deep insight, how my erudite opinion on crap is actually entertaining...because I need external validation..because I'm insecure and cannot gauge my own abilities and need others to do it for me.
I am pretty screwed up but mostly do a good job of behaving normal.
And that ends one of my rare posts on psychobabble rubbish, I promise not to do this again :-)

What not to do when drunk

1.Wierd threesome dance with boy and girl u barely know

2. dance on top of a table...thankfully i did not do this, though was sorely tempted while looking at other drunks who were on top of tables. My shoes...that was what held me back...note to self..wear more practical shoes next...or perhaps not, it keeps me from doing wierd aerial stunts when drunk

3. Drop vodka over one's self...must learn to hold a drink and perform complex hip hop move at the same time....practise practise practise

My lame druggie confessions

My Aunt once thought I was using cocaine, because she found a small packet full of loose white powder lying on my desk. Never mind that it could have been sugar or talc or that I had no history of drug use, but her first thought was that it must be cocaine.Then she thought that it probably belonged to my brother, him being prone to trouble n all...or better still perhaps we were snorting cocaine together, not wanting the other sibling to feel left out or anything. So anyway, she wanted to be sure, so like they do in the movies, she thought perhaps she should taste it. But because my aunt is sheltered and not like the rest of the cokehead family, she didnt want to risk it and get instantly addicted or anything, so she takes a sample of it to show another aunt, who presumably has more experience with narcotics.
Later,I did manage to convince said aunt, that it wasnt cocaine and she was being absurd and we all had a good laugh about it, though I still see her sneaking nervous glances at me and secretly checking my arms for for needle pricks....the things I have to live with.
So what was that white powder anyway? Carboxy methyl cellulose, a stabiliser used in making ice creams, I had gotten it at an ice cream making class a friend had forced me to go to....I was so bored during that class, but it was totally worth it for my coke adventure....see, this is how u know I'm totally starved for excitement.

The girl formerly known as...

I have a different name on my passport, a different name on my visa,a different name on my I20,a different name on my ticket and no, I'm not affiliated with any international spy agency...its a simple name,why can't anyone get it right? As it stands now, I will be getting my degree in my Dad's name and not mine....correcting all this will involve too much paper work and time ,so instead I choose to do nothing and hope that nobody notices...no really, thats my strategy, its brilliant I know.

Its just me rambling again

I know I havent been posting regularly, but I've been reealllly busy or atleast under the illusion that I'm busy. You know how it is, when you have so much to do, and so little time and its all so overwhelming that you finally end up doing nothing, but just staring at the ceiling...no? ya me neither...
anyway, this is what Ive been upto, I apologise for the sub standard stuff, I'm too sleepy to worry about grammar tonight.

I went hiking again, I know I should stop doing this, people might actually think I'm one of those outdoorsy people. Location- kanheri caves...the hike was fun, because I had good company, but its not very strenous and I recommend it to the trekkie newbie. Also if you like huge smelly caves, this is the place for you. There are I think around 109 caves there...ok, so I got fed up after the 4th cave...but you know what they say, u've seen one cave ,u've seen them all.
We also went on a tiger safari, I'd advise people to take a good pair of binoculors and a healthy dose of imagination if you actually want to see one.
Also, our guide nandeshwar wanted to show us the boy from his village who got attacked by leopards on 3 separate occasions. Yes, I encountered the poster boy for leopard attacks but resisted the urge to get a picture...how morbid, I know.

I'm in Dubai!! Reached yesterday, will be here for around 3 weeks. The sheikhs have an obscene amount of money, the way they just blow it away on the extravagant constructions and ridiculous malls.I like this city, and have spent more than 8 yrs of my life here, but it doesnt feel like home anymore.I think I like living in Mumbai, however frustrating it gets.

My parents want to make me fat, so that I can be socially ostracized by a society that idolises stick women....yipee!

I am horrified by the terrorists attacks in Mumbai, this is my home, it feels aweful for something like this to happen. I mean, imagine you're coming back from work, how horrible that you could be blown up to pieces for absolutely no fault of yours. I am very angry, because I feel nothing will change, its frustrating to think that life in India is not valued.Its like we've gotten used to seeing so much death and suffering that we just get up and get back to work the next day like nothing happened.Death like this shouldnt be something that we need to get used to.

ok, I'm done. I dont know, I havent felt the urge to blog at all the past one week. I think I write best when I'm depressed, all that angst needs an outlet...hehe
but good news, I think depression is setting in, I miss super lupe too much, so I guess I should be coming out with some quality stuff pretty soon....I just hope nothing happens in between to make me happy.

Hiking we will go...

I went Hiking a few days ago to this place called Peth fort. I like to go trekking, but dont go as much, because I'm a lazy ass, but this time, I managed to convince Super Unconcious girl and Music Boy to come along with me. Actually Music boy didnt need much convincing. He's the only person I know, who's game to go anywhere,anytime. I could learn a thing or two from him because I'm afraid I can be a bit of a tight ass. I think for ages before doing anything, I weigh the pros and cons, I would make lists, tables, charts and figures analysing the whole thing if I wasnt such a slacker. But I digress....
So, anyway, we paid up and asembled at Punjabi chandu halwai at dadar tt at 6 30 am (its a miracle either of us made it in time, super unconcious girl like me has trouble with early mornings and Music boy was working until 4:00 am that day). Our Guide for the day was Neville, who looked like he still hadnt got passed puberty.We were assured he was an accomplished trekker and none of us were in any danger of falling down a cliff or anything.There were about 18 of us altogether, which included this old couple in their 50's, who tried to recruit all of us to run the stan chart marathon next year, I of course stayed away from them, didnt want to catch their enthusiasm. There was this big group of gujratis, the yuppie kind. they acted exactly the way I behave when I'm drunk, obnoxious and loud but kind of funny.
So anyway,it took us around 2 and a half hours to get there. The damn Bus was really uncomfortable, its like the India Outdoors people hired the cheapest fucking bus possible, there was no leg room whatsoever.
We trekked about 15 km that day, though Neville lied to us at the beginnning and said it was just around 6 km, I guess he didnt want any of us chickening out before we'd even begun.
The hike uphill was long,painful and made even harder because it was so friggin hot. Not a drop of rain.. Ofcourse, quite predictably we all enjoyed being ugly tourists and asking our guides, when it would rain, every 5 mins.
I remember being stuck in a particularly precarious position, I couldnt get a good grip and didnt know where to put my foot. I was a little ahead of the others, so no one else was around. This guy somewhat ahead of me, looks at me and yells quite uselessly,"Its all in the mind"....bastard, wtf..I hate it when people mouth such meaningless shit. Something like "You can put your foot here" would have been more helpful. Anyway, I finally find my balance and get out of there and resolve not to try and show off and stick with the group.
At the base of the peak, which supposedly resembles an upturned funnel, (but I totally did not get that...not by any stretch of imagination) we camped for an hour or so at this village. It was strange actually, we walked right through people's houses but they didnt seem to mind.
We then proceeded to trek uphill towards the peak and it was pouring by then. We reached the top, where there was this huge cave and some enterprising young boys were selling cutting chai.
Anyway, I had such a cool time, especially being there with two of my best friends and the place was so pretty,I look at the pictures now and think I should have looked around somemore and not been so worried about getting my pants dirty.
The pictures are up on flickr, so go see and admire

Another one bites the dust

This is pretty sad. I used to like Eddie, he was my favourite TV dog. I wanted a Jack russel terrier after seeing the show, but instead went for a huge ass scary looking dog. But I guess he had a good life...16 yrs...I am wondering what happens to all the stray dogs during the rains, the albino dog and his bitch dont follow lupe and me when we go for our walks now.I used to hate it, because I'd end up with 3 dogs jumping all over me, but now I miss it. In fact I havent seen them in a few days. Though I suspect, alby will turn up once the rains quiet down with another bitch...heh...he's one randy dog.If he were a guy, he would be such a male slut. And I cant see that puppy anymore either , the one who used to hump my leg with a vengeance, and follow me like a love sick umm..puppy.
I hope he's okay, nothing makes me sadder than helpless animals. Donkeys for some reason make me sad, especially when I see them lugging around the world's weight on their backs. they get such a bad rap, those donkeys.I mean they're considered to be stupid and made to do all that work. A few years back, I was really worried by this, I had seen too many mistreated donkeys, so I wrote this petition, this "Save the donkeys" email..it was sort of a signing campaign by email, everyone should add their name and pass it along...I mean, if people could pass along those silly forwards in hope of finding true love then surely they could do this to spread awareness. I was met with an unenthusiastic response. But I sort of secretly hope that when I'm checking my mail at 80, that email will come back to me, with like a million names and I would be credited for the liberation of donkeys everywhere.... I know, I know, I have way too much time on my hands..and you havent even heard about Phase 2 of my Donkey liberation plan yet.

From one Super hero to another

Disclaimer: I have not seen the movie I'm about to discuss (because I have a brain and if u had one, u wouldnt see it too),so technically I have absolutely no right to say its crap, but I'm going to , so if u have a problem with it then please step away from my blog.

I had the horrible misfortune of seeing the first movie (which gave me a brain hemorrhage), so I'm bitter and therefore justified in spewing venom at the sequel Krrish.
Ok first, a true superhero does not dance like that. True, a few of us might break into a jig spontaneously after doing something superheroic BUT not with 100 back up dancers appearing bizarrely out of nowhere and there would be NO synchronized dancing, that is absolutely not cool.
Second, no cheesy matrix style moves dude. Did Hrithik Roshan not get the memo about that? You can only do those slow motion flying in the air and drop kicking thing so many times before it becomes stupid.We dont want hollywood hand me downs, come up with something original. I mean I have cooler moves than that. Seriously, somebody should pay me for the free advice I'm giving out, I'd make a movie if I wasnt busy saving the world and trying to earn a PhD.
Third, what kind of a fucking costume is that? when in doubt, stick to spandex.Pajamas with an oversized raincoat is great if its ur grandma.
Not since Ang Lee's Hulk have I been so incensed with such mediocre representation of superheroes in the Media. Oh please let Superman not be crap , I couldnt stand more disappointment.

Uncle Sam wants me!!

The night before my Visa interview I did not sleep. I had terrible nightmares about getting up late and missing it...even though the interview was at 2 30pm.
This is unusual for me, normally, I'm the Queen of cool, nothing upsets my state of Zen.
So, I get up at 6 30 am and proceed to go through all the possibilities on how the day would end, none of them were good....did I mention the glass is always half empty for me?
I had shopped for appropriate clothing, I wanted something which said "I'm proud to be Indian and love India and even though I'm fleeing the country and can't wait to go to Amreeka and see disneyland, I have every intention of coming back to my country and opening hospitals and schools and providing clean drinking water and better toilet facilities"....turns out thats too much to ask for out of a piece of clothing, so I settled for a stupid green tee shirt over my jeans...
So, anyway on the day of my interview, I notice that my tee has a deceptively low neckline and is showing inappropriate amount of cleavage when I bend even slightly, I didnt notice this before. This is not good, I need to project an image of seriousness, I'm a studious girl going to do my Phd, flashing the Visa officer might not be a good idea. I make a mental note not to bend or make any sudden movements the whole day.
Catch a 12 35 train, reach Mahalaxmi at 1 15 pm, cab drivers look at me contemptously and openly sneer at me and pretend to not know what a US embassy is. finally, find a cabbie willing, but end up at the wrong place, its already 2 15 pm. A security gaurd nearby is nice enough to give me directions, I reach lincoln house at 2 25, am almost run over by a bus while crossing the road. the bus driver swears at me, I call him a fucking bastard right back , but I dont think he hears me, instead I'm enveloped by the exhaust fumes of the Bus.
After the frisking and fingerprinting (just like jail, except for the blonde women), I take my pink coupon and wait with the rest of them hopefuls. There's this TV screen, showing images of the Statue of liberty, Niagara falls and some other pretty places I dont recognize. I decide to not look at the big screen anymore, am weary of subliminal messages on govt propaganda that might be coming through.
Notice cute skinny boy has pulled up a chair next to me. Avoid looking at him, and stare at the ceiling .He asks me how long I've been waiting, I say 15 mins...then continue staring at the ceiling, dont really like talking to strangers and making painful small talk. But he persists, and pretty soon we're deciding on which VO (Visa Officer) looks the meanest and which one is handing those visas out like its nobody's business. We decide the lady with the big blonde hair looks most evil. Her hair is scary, like it could eat you up when you're in the cubicle with her.
He apparently is going to new york too, for an MS in Architecture. We discuss new york weather and conclude the only thing we know is that it gets shit cold. Then he gets called for his interview, I wish him luck but am annoyed that he gets called first even though I came in before him. But, not for long because my turn comes soon after, and I meet the VO, who's this pretty blonde woman ( not the one with the nasty hair).
This is how it goes

VO: what r u going to be studying?
Me: I tell her (I think she started to get bored, even I was bored of the bull shit I was going on about, she ignores me midway and starts to speak with another one of the 100 million blonde women there)
VO: (staring hard at her computer screen) So, ur going for a PhD?
Me: Yes, I am.
VO: what will u do after ur phd?
Me: more BS( she's again losing interest...I try and spice things up by throwing in something about saving the world one test tube at a time or something...no laughter...tough crowd)
VO: (Now staring at her screen and pressing keys furiously)
Me: (Wondering if she's doing something with my application, or as i suspect more accurately, playing Counterstike secretly with her fellow VOs)
finally...VO: your visa has been granted, your passport will be couriered to u within 2 days
Me: THANKYOU (I say this with a big ridiculous grin on my face and wonder for a moment whether it would be appropriate for me to hug the glass that separates us... then decide against it, dont want to come on too strong)

On my way out, exchange High fives with cute skinny boy and notice he's still in line for his interview.
Exit the Visa Centre and take pains to cross road carefully as dont want to be run over by oncoming traffic, would like to visit disneyland before I die.

I've been tagged....not really

I am officially out of ideas,I can't think of anything to blog about so I'm going to take the easy way out and Tag myself. The way it works is that a fellow blogger tags u, then u have to answer the tag and in the end, tag someone else. Its a good system if u know fellow bloggers,I don't, so I'm tagging myself....its sort of the real world equivalent of sending a birthday card to yourself...only slightly less sad.

What curse word do you use the most? I say "Fuck" a lot, but I'm trying to cut down, so I end up saying "effing" and thats just lame.
Do you own an iPod? no
Who on your MySpace "Top 8" do you talk to the most? I'm not on myspace
What time is your alarm clock set for? 7 30 am...I like to aim high
What color is your room? purple, but its not really my room
Flip flops or sneakers? Flip flops, I think I was born in them.
Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? neither
What was the last movie you watched? Inside man...i managed to get through half of it, before falling asleep.
Do any of your friends have children? not that they know of
Has anyone ever called you lazy? yes, but must you bring it up.
Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? I need medication to keep me awake
What CD is currently in your CD player? I havent used my cd player in ages, in my mp3 player though, I have some beatles, greenday,Sublime, Incubus, Don Maclean, Kt tunstall and some sean paul
Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? Bournvita, thats what I want
Has anyone told you a secret this week? After the last secret which I kept for almost 2 years and almost got me disowned, everybody keep ur secrets to yourself!
Who was the last person to call you? Super Unconcious girl
Do you think people talk about you behind your back? Everbody needs a hobby
Did you watch cartoons as a child? no, I only saw foreign language films
How many siblings do you have? 2, younger bro and older sis
Are you shy around the opposite sex? I'm shy around most people, sex doesnt matter
What movie do you know every line to? not even one
Do you own any band t-shirts? Like those Metallica and Sum41 tees that my brother wears...no, I wouldnt be caught dead in them
What is your favorite salad dressing? I dont eat grass, gimme red meat anyday
Do you read for fun? yes sir
Do you cry a lot? no, not really
Who was the last person to text message you? those hutch folks,promising me a free return trip to Goa
Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? desktop...and now a laptop
Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo? not particularly
What is the weather like? its all orange outside, nice n cool
Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? as long as he didnt have some wierd skin infection too
Is sex before marriage wrong? No, it makes sense to me.
When was the last time you slept on the floor? Whenever we have a lot of family over and too few beds, I'm relegated to the floor
How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 8 or more
Are you in love or lust? both, though not necessarily at the same time.
Are your days full and fast-paced? they're pretty laid back
Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? I only look at the back of packages to find out if they're giving free stuff
How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 24...
Are you picky about spelling and grammar? as long as I get what is being said.
Have you ever been to Six Flags? I dont even know what that is.
Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? I get along with girls, boys and everybody in between
Do you like cottage cheese? its a poor substitute for chicken
Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? I'm asleep, I dont really know
Have you ever bid for something on eBay? no, I dont have cash to spare
Do you enjoy giving hugs? only to super lupe, I dont like touchy feely people
What song did you last sing out loud? my humps...black eyed peas (hides face in embarrasment)
What is your favorite TV show? lOST, before it started to suck
Which celebrity, dead or alive, would like to have lunch with? George clooney can take me out for lunch anytime.
Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Before every weekly lab meeting at my last job, where the Boss would remind us, that we were wasting her money and were a bunch of idiots.
What one thing do you wish you had? a large inheritance


Everyone who reads this, consider yourself tagged.

Ghana wins 2-0

Yay!!Ghana won!...even for a soccer noob like me that was a cool match.
Heading off to Wikipedia now to find out what an offside is...hee

The High School years

In school, 12th grade I think, this girl transferred to my class, she was obviously uncomfortable being the new girl, didnt help that she was quiet and wasnt those instantly popular girls who magnetically attract people towards them. So anyway, I'm no friendly bug either, there were the occasional Hi's and bye's, but I never made an attempt to know her, I would soon be finishing school and was looking forward to not having to meet most of these people who so obviously did not recognize my brilliance.
And then we were made to sit with each other, I was cheesed off because your bench mate is almost like your partner in crime, the thelma to my louise and my thelma was moving to some corner of the class while I was saddled with some girl whom I had never heard speak (not that I was a big talker either).
So, first there was the uncomfortable silence, then the awkward small talk then the common bitching about the world, woe is me and all that stuff that people stuck in shitty places bond over. I realised soon though,that she was bloody cool (and there are very few people who I think are bloody cool).
She had this mad snarky sense of humour which came along with a deadpan delivery. I was impressed. Painful physics lectures werent so bad anymore, because we could laugh at our failure to understand anything about fluid dynamics...yes, we were equally stupid about these things. I introduced her to my set of friends (wasnt a set so much as a ...umm..ok, it was just one person) and we hung out, or as much as you can hang out in a fascist nazi school, that restricted all free movement.
But there was something wierd about her, she seemed sad always,unhappy...and once in passing, she told me she sometimes thought she'd rather die...stop, hold the phone, kill herself?? I didnt know what to say,was she joking? sure, after a particulary bad day, I too am known to say stuff like "somebody shoot me", and it would be just like her to throw in something shocking like that. I asked her about it, and she brushed it aside , making a joke out of it. I went on about how she had no reason to think such a thing, school wasnt so bad , we'd only have to study physics for the next 5 months and she laughed that off and that's when it hit me, she seemed lonely, that was the word I was looking for.
And so I wondered, here was someone who was so obviously smart, witty, incredibly funny and interesting and no one knew about it besides a few of us. Nobody bothered to talk to her (myself included). To me, she was the coolest person I knew in school by then, others barely noticed her. It made me mad to think that she would be ignored because in the fickle world of high school, she didnt make the cut of Pretty girl/jock/super genius/ass kissers etc.
So we all graduated, exchanged addresses, promised to be soul sisters etc, I left for Mumbai, she left for hyderabad and we lost touch.
I have no idea what happened to her, but I suddenly thought of her the other day.I certainly wish I had been a better friend.
And mostly I wonder, how many really wonderful people are hidden amongst us, lonely people who no one bothered to talk to. I'm just glad I met one of them.

And that concludes my most gay post ever.

When the shit hits the fan...

Everything's gone to hell, I expected as much, but still, to see it actually happen is almost too much to take. I can't talk about details because its too personal, but I still want to say something, because the tension and the waiting is killing me, and I dont know what else to do.Its easy now in hindsight, to think and say, "well I could have done that".....coulda/woulda/shoulda...if only life were that easy, I still think I did what I thought was best, was it indeed the best thing to do? I dont know, but thats what I thought at the time, still do, but people close to me are hurt, disappointed and I wonder if things will get back to normal...a part of me thinks it will eventually, time is the great healer and all that crap...and a part of me wonders what was normal anyway? Wasnt there enough resentment, anger,unsaid words... that something had to give.
I am glad its now out in the open atleast, things will only get worse, but atleast the lying has stopped (somewhere at the back of my mind i wonder though, how little I was bothered with all the lies, I wonder what that says about me)
The next few days are going to be ugly, messy, painful and I probably wont blog much, or maybe I will, I think it would be just like me to write some idiotic post about magic raincoats or something, anything to escape the shit that I find myself in.
For one person atleast, I hope we are all able to get past this.


I have now been staring at my screen for the last 15 mins, debating whether I should delete all of this, I am embarrased at my soppy outburst... but I'm going to keep it I think,not because I want sympathy from my blog readers (the cynic in me says you don't have any readers anyway),infact I'm afraid people will judge me too harshly... but because years from now I want to say that atleast once, I was honest about my feelings......even if to a bunch of faceless strangers.

When things go wrong...

I feel like I lost my two best friends, I should have known better, you never mix your whites with colours. Two of my favouritest t-shirts are now an ugly shade of yellow. You know those clothes, which no matter how you felt before, but once you wore them u were all happy and thought "I'm bloody gorgeous" (so what if no one else agreed)...well I no longer have these happy clothes. This makes me sad. I have yet to find the offending source of yellow, but rest assured when I do I will destroy it so it can no longer cause pain and suffering...sniff
My Washing machine malfunction wasnt the worst part of the day, for the better part of the morning I was at the Passport office trying to fix a mistake with my name in my passport.
The first guy I enquired with, convinced me that it would be easily taken care off, that I was silly to panic , that it would be corrected in 2 mins just round the corner.
Of course I didnt believe a bleeding word he said, which is good, because when I went to the counter he directed me to, the lady looked at me, looked at my passport and told me, " Nothing can be done " and then proceeded to ignore me and speak to the man trying to shove his way in front of me. Not willing to be brushed off so easily, I asked her again, she told me that since my passport wasnt issued in India, no correction/ammendment could be made, that I should go to the indian embassy in the country where it was issued and do things there. What? was she serious, its a bloody Indian passport, I'm Indian and I have to go to another country to get things done.?..murderous thoughts started to develop, I contemplated whether she was on drugs and so obviously had no idea what she was saying.
After my repeated attempts at trying to get a useful answer from her and her increasingly irritated "no madam, hum kucch nahi kar sakte" replies, she finally told me to go see the superintendent, who proceeded to give me the same set of answers. After a lot of haranguing, during which he kept acting as if I was trying to get him to do something illegal ,...he finally (perhaps seeing my defeated face) says softly, "Well, I suppose you can get a booklet with the ammendment"....what???? a booklet? I have argued with these idiots for around 2 hrs and nobody has mentioned the option of getting a fucking booklet. Why not tell me about this magical booklet when I asked first? Whats the big secret?
So anyway, to cut a long agonizing story short I'll be getting a fancy booklet added to my passport...I doubt this is the end of my Passport woes, but next time I'm just hitching a ride with Superman, who needs a passport anyway...

Mika needs to work on his french

I woke up today to the images of Daler Mehendi's idiot brother Mika tryng to swallow Rakhi Sawant....thats how it looked to me anyway...what was he trying to do? I can't believe people at that party are justifying it by saying she kissed him first, a peck on the cheek does not mean he can go ahead and play tonsil hockey. I know I don't know these two people, or if there's any history involved, but in my book, that was not cool, dude. Maybe this Mika was drunk and horny at his party, whatever, but you can't just go around forcibly frenching people...and ewwww, but that just looks disgusting. So, yes, she has every right to complain about it.
I thought about putting up the pics here, but I want to spare everyone the ensuing nightmares and the therapy, that I will obviously need to get those images out of my head...but you can go and read the whole story here

This brings me to another pet peeve of mine, the whole "she was asking for it", "she had it coming", "But she was wearing a mini skirt" argument most people give. Nobody asks to be molested, nobody asks to be raped, you're a fucking asshole if you think that just because some one is not dressed according to your standards of decency, it means she's "loose" or "easy" and you know what, maybe she is loose and easy but that doesnt give you the right to have sex with her against her will.
There, I'm done with my ranting. I'll try and keep my next post about more pleasant things like puppies and bunny rabbits.

Random thoughts of a depressed Superhero

I had an aweful day today, one of those days when I've felt more invisible than super.
My Sis left the country, I'm going to miss her whiny NRI ass. I made some embarrasingly stupid mistake with my visa application, I caught it just in time (thanks to MR, my visa buddy) , I'm also having a bad hair day, the reason for which I chose to wear a bandanna the whole day (is that even cool anymore?), we were stuck in traffic for ages, nothing was moving, except the noxious fumes coming from the big fat truck in front.
I'd say I want a vacation, but I'm already on one....
I had plans of going on a BNHS nature trail tommorrow, but I dont feel like going anymore. Apparently u need to show up by 7 30 am...I'm not a morning person, 7 30 am sounds horrendous...to be in goregaon at 7 30, i would have to leave home at 6 45, which means I would have to wake up by 5 30 (I have a long morning routine), which means I should have been asleep 3 hrs ago. What is it with these BNHS people, all their stuff happens at the break of dawn...are sleep deprived people better with nature? I dont know, i just get more crankier.
Speaking of the outdoors, I love to trek, but its been a while since i did that last. I've gone rapelling a few times, and even went waterfall rapelling, which is some scary shit, I was pretty sure I was going to fall and drown and/or fall and break all my bones and then drown. I survived and lived to blog about it....which is a good thing btw.
I realised something about myself the other day, I am an indiscriminate dancer, I will dance to any fucking crap, stuff, i might otherwise consider too bloody stoopid to listen to, I will happily dance to at a club, while my friends with more discernable taste watch in horror and try to pretend they're not with me. I dont know why i do this, I publicly denounce himmesh reshammiya, but will still dance to his aweful music...though this could probably have something to do with the vodka I'm holding in my hand while dancing.
The world cup is here...I cant even muster enough enthusiasm to pretend I care. Though I thought I should root for some team, so on principle, I'm going with all the african teams. I just feel like the underdogs could use some support and so pledge my loyalty, as long as it doesnt involve face paint and u know doing anything, like actually watching the games.
Hmm...u know I feel better already, there's nothing like a brand new post to make me feel accomplished. BTW, I'm aiming at a mimimum of 3 new posts per week, apparently, any lesser than that, you're not considered a serious blogger. At this rate, I might have to start blogging about what I had for breakfast or I'll have to make up stuff...oh wait, i already do that.

I have no scruples apparently....

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$278,556

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

thats it???? Are the good people at blogthings saying I would run over dogs, amputate my legs, become a racist celibate just for some $200,000? damn, I'm cheap...

My Top 3 lists

I've blogged twice about the weather already, this can't be good, I think i need to juice things up a bit, so I'm going to make lists, lots of them...

Top 3 things that are making me very angry right now
1. Pedestrians who come in my way when I'm driving
2. cars who try to run me over when I'm walking
3. Rahul mahajan and his druggie posse , that apollo hospital and their half assed denials and conspiracy theories. So, u snorted heroin, own up to it, stop with all the crap about how u'll thought it was talcum powder or sugar or fairy dust.....

Top 3 things that are making me very happy right now
1. my blog, its like therapy, my arm chair crusading against all things that piss me
off.
2. Hugs from Super lupe
3. I was put on hold on the phone just now and they were playing that super mario music...that made me happy for some reason...i know, I'm easily pleased

Top 3 things that bored/bore me to death
1. watching Da Vinci code, the movie...that was a good 3 hr nap
2. Malls, all of them , in all shapes, sizes and price range, they all suck
3. Cricket

Top 3 things I've been saying a lot these days
1. "So, whats the POA?"........thts plan of action btw, for those not in with my cool lingo
2."dude"....i say this to a boy, girl, dog ,anyone...
3." I think we need to consider the possibility that you're an idiot"....ok, i dont say this, but I'd like to say this to many people.

My Top 3 names for celebrity babies
1.water melon.....for those who like to name their kids after perishables, its a good name, that way in school his/her friends can call him/her melonhead...what fun!
2.shaliyoh....its a kenyan-namibian-zambian name with nigerian influences and means "I want world peace and I am the light of the world and I like to poop in my pants", it works on many levels.
3. Fcuk .....for those who like to name their loved ones after designer labels

The weather report.....brought to you by my windcheater

I can control the weather, I can, I really can. this wasnt part of my (limited) repertoire of super powers, it is one I have acquired of late. I have this magic windcheater, it gives me the ability to manipulate the weather. I can, for instance, cause it to rain or become incessantly sunny all of a sudden . It works fairly simply.The day I want it to be sunny, I take my windcheater out of the house with me, I carry it wherever I go. The presence of the aforementioned windcheater with me,initiates a series of complicated weather patterns, preventing any sort of precipitation. On the other hand, on days when I prefer it would rain, I simply have to leave my windcheater at home, and the weather patterns reverse and it starts pouring. In fact, the greater the distance between me and my windcheater, the more it rains .I am afraid this might have had something to do with the july 26th deluge, I had forgotten my windcheater at home that day and i feel real guilty about all the inconvenience it caused, but my windcheater hadnt revealed to me its real power then.
I will not divulge anymore details though, of this hallowed windcheater, lest it fall into wrong hands.But please let me know if there are particular days, like weddings, job interviews, exams etc when you would like the weather to be of the appropriate type , I'll see what I can do, I am after all here to serve the people.

Another wet monsoon

Its raining.A lot.thats 3 long months of flooded streets, gunk on my feet, leptospirosis, ugly windcheaters, wet local trains, overflowing gutters, super lupe smelling like a damp blanket, my hair looking like a mop,that one proverbial day when the city stands still, jeans which refuse to dry,underwear which stays damp, flying umbrellas, lost umbrellas, bad net connection, johnny joseph's excuses , the disaster management team's assured incompetence,TV channels trying to get breaking news out of a drizzle,Tsunami/cyclone rumours allowing me to leave work early, gloomy depressing days, dengue......Ah, good times....

Dumb and Dumber

I do a lot of stupid things, so I thought I'd catalogue all of them ,so you know, I never get cocky and my grandchildren can make fun of me when I'm old and toothless

1. Happened 2 yrs back, I was doing my Masters in Baroda and would make trips to Mumbai to visit home on holidays, long weekends etc. So, once after a weekend in Mumbai, I was scheduled to leave on a sunday night, I went to the train station to catch my train to baroda at around 12 in the night, got in the train and saw someone else sleeping in my berth,Now it was late, I was sleepy, already cranky that I had to leave home and then some stranger occupies my berth, i woke him up rudely and told him that he had the wrong seat. He insisted it was his, I insisted it was mine. We both insisted a lot.There was a nice family occupying the other berths and the dad I'm guessing, asked me wot the problem was. I told him, he immediately took my side, considering that i was the nice girl travelling all alone at night and my seat hijacker was a suspicious looking man who probably ate babies (ok, i made that up...and yes, I will probably go to hell)...we finally got around to looking at our tickets, and well, the dad noticed that mine was for the next day. I wanted to crawl into one of my suitcases so tht no one would see me, instead i apologised to the man I wrongly accused of illegal berth occupation and baby eating and the family for disturbing them and the small crowd which had gathered, but they were probably enjoying it and ran away from that miserable train.....neverthless, from then on, i scan my train tickets a million times before setting foot on the train and i give suspicious looking men who occupy my seats the benefit of the doubt.

2.Happened a few weeks back...Lost my cell phone, My hands were full and my pants had no pockets , so at the atm, I left it at the side for a bit while i took some cash out. Ofcourse I didnt remember to take it back when I was leaving and that was the last I saw of it.

3. Happened 4 yrs back...It was the day after I got my driving license, was in my cousins car, who had double parked outside a store and gone inside. There was a huge traffic jam on the road and a policeman approached the car asking us to move it along as it was blocking the street, I figured I could handle it, and there wasnt any sign of my cousin and I was the only other person with a license in the car, so I went and started the car and promptly hit a guy on a bike in front of me, he fell off the bike and i nearly had a nervous breakdown.....My driving has improved since then, people dont run away in fright when i take the road.....though I stay away from guys on bikes.

4.A few days back...caught an episode of "the simple life"...there goes 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

5.A few hours back...accidently brought garlic when I meant to buy ginger, all the while telling the grocer, that i wanted ginger, him showing me garlic and me saying "thanks, thats wot I want".

6.A few months back....was on a local train returning from work at night, when I suddenly realised I had forgotten to buy a ticket, so I sat there for a few minutes debating, shd I risk it or get off and buy one. Realising I still had a long way to get home and I would probably get an ulcer worrying the TC would catch me, I get off the next station but I cant find the ticket counter and I've never been to this station before, anyway, i end up in some lonely place, with no one in site except some wierd looking men, so head back to the platform, but get into a train heading in the opp direction by mistake...shit, curse my luck, get off at the next sation and get into the right train, realise that I still dont have a ticket, get off at the next station and find the bloody ticket counter, get my ticket, head back to catch a train, reach home at some god forsaken hour , laughing at the bloody irony of it all, no TC showed up to check my shiny new ticket.

7. 3 yrs back....This was in Goa,I was in one of those paddle boats at a lake, allowed the boat to get well beyond the safe distance, because was too distracted letting my underage cousins paddle the boat, even though they werent allowed. Ended up getting stuck in some murky quick sand area and eventually had to be rescued by a 70 yr old man in a rickety old row boat that looked about to come apart....oh , the shame of it all...but to be fair, my older sister was in that paddle boat with me, so I'm gonna chalk that down to collective stupidity.

8. 2 months back...bought yellow pants...nuff said

9. 2 years back....new year's eve, had too much to drink, then had even more to drink, then just for fun had some more, then puked, then lost conciousness, then remember feeling cold, very cold, then remember reaching home and being hung over for the next 3 days...o, my poor liver...


You'd think I'd get smarter with age, I only seem to be becoming more of a tool. My, how I've grown as a person.....

Its official...Arjun Singh is an idiot

I was appalled after I read this, maybe u will be too

Decision on quota is final: Arjun
CNN-IBN
Posted Sunday , May 21, 2006 at 20:58
Updated Monday , May 22, 2006 at 10:52


Karan Thapar: Hello and welcome to the Devil's Advocate. As the debate over the reservations for the OBCs divides the country, we ask - What are the government's real intentions? That is the critical questions that I shall put today in an exclusive interview to the Minister for Human Resource Development Arjun Singh.

Most of the people would accept that steps are necessary to help the OBCs gain greater access to higher education. The real question is - Why do you believe that reservations is the best way of doing this?

Arjun Singh: I wouldn't like to say much more on this because these are decisions that are taken not by individuals alone. And in this case, the entire Parliament of this country - almost with rare anonymity - has decided to take this decision.

Karan Thapar: Except that Parliament is not infallible. In the Emergency, when it amended the Constitution, it was clearly wrong, it had to reverse its own amendments. So, the question arises - Why does Parliament believe that the reservation is the right way of helping the OBCs?

Arjun Singh: Nobody is infallible. But Parliament is Supreme and atleast I, as a Member of Parliament, cannot but accept the supremacy of Parliament.

Karan Thapar: No doubt Parliament is supreme, but the constitutional amendment that gives you your authorities actually unenabling amendment, it is not a compulsory requirement. Secondly, the language of the amendment does not talk about reservations, the language talks about any provision by law for advancement of socially and educationally backward classes. So, you could have chosen anything other than reservations, why reservations?

Arjun Singh: Because as I said, that was the 'will and desire of the Parliament'.

Karan Thapar: Do you personally also, as Minister of Human Resource Development , believe that reservations is the right and proper way to help the OBCs?

Arjun Singh: Certainly, that is one of the most important ways to do it.

Karan Thapar: The right way?

Arjun Singh: Also the right way.

Karan Thapar: In which case, lets ask a few basic questions; we are talking about the reservations for the OBCs in particular. Do you know what percentage of the Indian population is OBC? Mandal puts it at 52 per cent, the National Sample Survey Organisation at 32 per cent, the National Family and Health Survey at 29.8 per cent, which is the correct figure?

Arjun Singh: I think that should be decided by people who are more knowledgeable. But the point is that the OBCs form a fairly sizeable percentage of our population.

Karan Thapar: No doubt, but the reason why it is important to know 'what percentage' they form is that if you are going to have reservations for them, then you must know what percentage of the population they are, otherwise you don't know whether they are already adequately catered in higher educational institutions or not.

Arjun Singh: That is obvious - they are not.

Karan Thapar: Why is it obvious?

Arjun Singh: Obvious because it is something which we all see.

Karan Thapar: Except for the fact that the NSSO, which is a government appointed body, has actually in its research in 1999 - which is the most latest research shown - that 23.5 per cent of all university seats are already with the OBCs. And that is just 8.5 per cent less than what the NSSO believes is the OBC share of the population. So, for a difference of 8 per cent, would reservations be the right way of making up the difference?

Arjun Singh: I wouldn't like to go behind all this because, as I said, Parliament has taken a view and it has taken a decision, I am a servant of Parliament and I will only implement.

Karan Thapar: Absolutely, Parliament has taken a view, I grant it. But what people question is the simple fact - Is there a need for reservations? If you don't know what percentage of the country is OBC, and if furthermore, the NSSO is correct in pointing out that already 23.5 per cent of the college seats are with the OBC, then you don't have a case in terms of need.

Arjun Singh: College seats, I don't know.

Karan Thapar: According to the NSSO - which is a government appointed body - 23.5 per cent of the college seats are already with the OBCs.

Arjun Singh: What do you mean by college seats?

Karan Thapar: University seats, seats of higher education.

Arjun Singh: Well, I don't know I have not come across that far.



There's more and it gets worse, you can read the entire thing here

Link



what the fuck?? this ignorant asshole wants almost 50% reservation and he has no idea about actual numbers of anything? does he know how stupid he sounds with those lame ass answers?...."the parliament is supreme", " I am just a servant" , "it is obvious".....what a load of crap.
I am not against reservations, nor do i have anything against OBCs,SCs,STs, but are increasing reservatons really the way to go? does caste override merit? Is this really fair to millions of students who study their asses off trying to get into the IITs, IIMs, AIIMS etc, to only realise that in the end that all their hard work doesnt count for shit? And really, arjun singh and his cronies arent doing this out of the goodness of their heart, for them the OBCs r one big gigantic vote bank. I mean has anyone tried to find out if increasing reservations are really going to make a big difference? how much have reservations in the past helped? its obvious from his interview that arjun singh is not interested in this, he thinks he can impress us with his rhetoric about the supremacy of the parliament and socialism and good of mankind and all that other bullshit.....well no one's buying that, this is divisive politics at its best
And just to add, if he cared so much about the OBCs, you'd think he'd atleast bother to find out how many of them there are.

Enough about me

every super hero needs a side kick, someone to take the blame for ur stupidity, someone whose cape u can borrow,someone whose costume looks more stupid than yours, someone with dubious sexual orientation (and i'm looking at you Mr robin), someone u can make fun of and feel better about urself......so, i have one too, SUPER LUPE, he doesnt have a costume, clothes, he says, restrict his movement. which i dont get, because, what movement? he doesnt move, he sleeps on his ass all day and forget dubious sexual orientation, i am more concerned about his dubious hygiene, he refuses to take a bath, i think he's afraid shampoo will steal his modjo.But he'not completely useless, i mean he has super powers, he has toxic drool , he has this unbelievably limitless storage of saliva, anything his spittle touches becomes instantly....umm, u know..icky.
And he doesnt work alone, he gets seasonal help from his army of fleas and other friendly parasites...
But every superhero has their kryptonite, and so does Super lupe...actually super lupe has many kryptonites, in fact, i'm going to make a list, these are a few things which cause our intrepid super hero to completely lose any ounce of self control and sometimes bladder control too
1. balls
2. ballons
3. any round circular object
4. caps
5. hats
6. any kind of head gear
7. little girls
8. little boys
9. any kind of little person
10. ice cream
11. chocolate
12. sausages
13. anything edible really
14. albino dogs and their crotches
15. the general crotch area actually
right, thats about it, if kept away from all of these things, super lupe is capable of fuctioning as a completely efficient side kick and is able to cover my ass on many occasions.....well maybe not my ass, but the general crotch area definetely.

super invisible girl goes to the gym

the other day i noticed something, i was looking into the mirror and realised that my spandex looked kind of funny on me....let me explain, its all in the rule book, all super heroes can wear costumes made of spandex only. You may make fun, but Men need to wear their underwear on the outside and the women need to wear the tightest fucking spandex possible, so that all assets are amply on display to the general public. Anyway, while spandex is great because its lightweight, resistant to body oils, perspiration, coffee stains,blood stains, green goo etc, and its all stretchy too, there's one big problem, if you dont have the body of catwoman its wholly unflattering to the figure. Its like every imperfection is blown up for everyone to point and make fun of. So the other day, looking into the mirror, i heard myself asking the question every superhero dreads, "does my spandex covered ass look big in this this?"
so i joined a gym, i think I already lost a little weight stressing about the ridiculously high fees I had to pay and how I'd obviously have to skip dinners on tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays to make up for it. Anyway, the gym wasnt as bad as I thought it would be, I expected to be surrounded by oversized muscles and washboard abs, but everyone else seemed as out of shape and as confused with that 2 in 1 magnetic cycle rower as i was.
And so i continue my tryst with the gym, it wont be long before i possess the perfect set of abs and kylie minogue's pert bottom....there's always hope....and if it doesnt work out, well, thank god I'm invisible

I'm Back!...and still invisible

I must be the worst blogger ever,its been 2 yrs since my last post. I am sorry that i left all my readers (on last count 2...but growing by the minute) hanging in the air like that. I know everyone wants to know what has super invisible girl been upto...and she has been very busy indeed. In the past 2 yrs, i have finished my bachelors, begun and completed my masters , and will be very soon starting my Phd, yes i like to collect them degrees. You'd think that being a superhero was enough, and who needs all this education, but listen up boys and girls , its tough being superhuman these days, it ain't how it used to be. Sure, you can take down the 10 mutant fire-eating giants with one blow, and you saved Gotham city from almost certain destruction on tuesday, but can you tell me the square root of 816753 raise to the 8th power? can u? if u can't, u just dont make the cut.
anyway,I look foward to writing more about my adventures and hopefully
unless my arch nemesis the dreaded, most evil than there ever was,
PRO. KRASTIN ASHUNN , catches up with me, you will certainly not have to wait 2 yrs for my next post.